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As you will already know, Rutte and De Jonge gave another press conference on Friday to announce the sharpening of the COVID measures in the Netherlands. You have probably heard the word lockdown being waved around like a flag. But the latest measures really don’t constitute a Dutch lockdown. Even less so than the ‘intelligent’ lockdown we had last year.

Tip: if sarcasm is not your thing, or you have no idea what it is, it might be better to move along to a different post. Like this fun piece about gezelligheid.

Why Do We Need New Measures?

Why? Because there are a record number of daily infections. Hospitals are cancelling regular healthcare appointments and are screaming into the void that they are nearing breaking point. Oh, and Germany has announced that they too are are struggling with this new wave and Dutch patients can not be transferred to German hospitals. And not enough of the Dutch population is vaccinated to ensure that infection rates stay low this winter.

To help you make sense of the new measures, here is a summary.

The ‘Basisregels’

• The ‘keep 1.5m distance’ is back from toen, toen, toen
• Wear a face mask where required (and HOW required i.e. over your freakin’ mouth AND nose -now written into the law)
• Don’t shake hands and definitely none of this kissing cheeks nonsense that is so loved here – (ok, no one actually said that but I was so hoping it would disappear forever after the rules were dropped)
• Wash your hands until they are chapped and bleeding
• Open windows and cross ventilate at least 15 mins a day (heating prices are high, yes, but do it) Make sure there is some sort of ventilation whilst you have guests, or put your mother-in-law in the garden and talk to her through the open window
• If you have any symptoms that could be COVID related stay home and get tested (you may leave your home to get tested).
• Quarantine rules make more sense now*: quarantine applies for vaccinated and non vaccinated peeps. If a member of your household has covid you all go in to quarantine.

You may well be muttering to yourself that these are all the measures that were dropped a few months back because the pandemic was over. We had, as a nation, banished COVID and the summer was ours for the taking. Keep muttering, no one is listening. At least no one within the group that makes the rules.

What Can You Do to Help?

Both Rutte and De Jonge asked us, the press conference audience, to ask the question of ourselves, what can I do to help decrease the rate of infection?

Avoid busy places. Stay at home if you have COVID symptoms and get yourself tested (practice patience getting through on the test line at the moment – my tip, not Rutte’s). Only 50% of people are currently doing this. Which sucks, because sooner or later the virus meets someone it can overpower and they die. Break the chain and get tested. Quarantine when you should.

*Whilst on the topic of quarantine. Until last Saturday the rules for quarantining were bizarre. Namely, if you are vaccinated and a member of your household tested positive for COVID you did not need to quarantine. Mind blown.

Know Unvaccinated People?

Hugo also had an idea. If you know people who are not vaccinated, invite them around for a nice cup of tea (koffie mag ook) and a stroopwafel (no more than 4 unvaccinated people at a time) and have a wee chat about getting themselves vaccinated. Convince them Bill Gates will not be their new master once they are vaccinated. Persuade them they will not themselves become a bluetooth device. Nor will their eyes go grey and dead looking. (Yes readers, all *facts* on Twitter recently). Sometimes, Hugo has genius-like ideas. Sometimes he doesn’t.

The Sharpened Measures – Where I Tell You That the COVID Virus Only Operates During Certain Hours

So down to the nitty gritty. Let me first explain where you are safe from the virus:

1. In non-essential shops until 6pm: clothes shopping, Christmas display browsing in Intratuin (I wrote a blog piece on this- check it out), IKEA, sofa shopping. But leave the shop by 6pm. The virus then comes out to play.

2. In a supermarket, Makro or pet shop until 8pm

3. In schools full of unvaccinated children (thankfully kids are totally immune and don’t get sick)

4. In a theater, cinema or concert with 1249 other people as late as you like

5. At an event with 1249 other people as long as it stops by 6pm

6. In a restaurant or bar until 8pm

7. In a zoo or amusement park until 6pm

8. In a wellness centre or sauna or the hairdresser or nail salon until 6pm

9. With a sex worker but only until 6pm I think. Essential or non essential service? You tell me.

COVID Risky Places and Times

However, there are some places you are NOT safe:

1. At any sporting event, inside or out, amateur or professional as a spectator. At any time of day. (Yes, the virus LOVES sport venues 24 hours per day, but hates shops during the day and is not interested in cinemas at any time.) So anyway, this means that parents are once again sitting in the car parks again whilst kids do their sporty things

2. In the workplace, unless you absolutely have to be there (like hospital workers)

3. At home with more than 4 guests unless they are 12 or under. Thankfully, you can have a house rammed with kids too young to be vaccinated who have been mixing with no measures in schools, football clubs and dance classes. No problemo.

4. With more than 74 other students in a lecture hall (MBO, HBO, WO)

5. At a festival or event after 6pm, except for funerals, which may continue any time of the day I believe (and you can certainly expect more of these to be taking place in the weeks to come)

What Didn’t the Intrepid Duo Mention?

A few things not mentioned: care homes, schools. 1.5m rule applies? Not sure. Hugo visited a care home in the week and apparently didn’t need a face mask. Anything Boris Johnson can do, Hugo can do too. But I digress.

Schools

So the government hasn’t included schools in the sharpened measures. The experts, like Van Dissel, keep telling us that children aren’t drivers of the spread of the virus, nor do they get particularly ill.

In other news, I know of more people who have tested positive during this current wave than during all previous waves combined. And almost all are children. Incidentally, school has been the source for most of them. And they have in turn infected parents.

But no measures in school because children hardly pay a role at all in this pandemic. And our own personal experience is absolutely an exception of how sick kids can get with the COVID virus. *insert a mega eye roll here*

Lockdown My Arse

Think that’s everything covered. Media is calling this a lockdown. Or a partial lockdown. Including foreign media. But it’s not even a distant estranged cousin of a lockdown. You simply have to do everything in fewer hours with more people around you. Except watch sport. DAT MAG NIET MEER.

Ok, I’m going there. How is it safer to sit inside a concert hall with 1249 other people than watch ten year olds play football outside with a sprinkling of other parents? Or sit OUTSIDE and watch De Graafschap with use of the coronapas? Ok, said it. Now I will let it lie. Or not.

This Dutch lockdown that is not a lockdown will last for three weeks. But no guarantees. The powers that be will keep reviewing the situation. And in them we trust. We have definitely never been here before. Three weeks. Short, sharp klap for the virus. Met z’n allen.

Never before have we in the Netherlands paid the cost for too little too late when it comes to the Dutch government imposing COVID defeating measures.

And the government will work on laws to introduce 2G measures at the end of the three week lockdown that is not a lockdown. This is so that non vaccinated people can only do stuff if they have already had the virus. Or they should get vaccinated. But no pressure. Do it. Don’t do it. Whatever.

Questions? If they are the level of the questions the media posed last Friday, I can handle them. Or you can head to the official site and get official information.

The post What You Need to Know About the Dutch Lockdown That is Not a Lockdown appeared first on Turning Dutch.